Viewing sexual intimacy as a sacred experience is associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction and passion, a new psychological study finds. The study found that finding spiritual meaning in the bedroom works not only by increasing the frequency of intimacy, but also by strengthening certain relationship habits, such as open communication and staying in the present moment. These findings show that Journal of Sex and Couple Therapy.
Psychologists often study how humans create meaning to live and enrich their daily lives. One of the ways people construct meaning is through a process called sanctification. This occurs when a person perceives the mundane aspects of life as having a sacred character or deep sacred significance. Although the word holiness may bring to mind traditional religion, researchers point out that sanctification is a psychological reality experienced by people both inside and outside formal faith communities.
When people view a part of their life as sacred, they tend to invest extra time and energy into making it flourish. They also tend to use these highly meaningful areas as emotional resources during difficult life transitions. In the context of romantic relationships, prior research has shown that viewing sexuality as sacred is associated with positive outcomes, including higher relationship satisfaction and more enjoyment of intimacy.
Knowing that a relational property exists is only the first step to understanding it. Brigham Young University family life researchers Dean Buzbee and Chelsea Zollinger Allen wanted to know exactly how this internal belief system changes a couple’s actual relationship. The researchers sought to map specific behavioral pathways linking sacred views of sexuality and documented sexual satisfaction.
To organize their approach, Busby and Allen used a theoretical framework called the sexual wholeness model. This model suggests that human sexuality consists of three main components: physical acts, relational emotions, and internal meaning systems. Sexual sanctification is a type of meaning system that partners bring to a romantic union. The researchers predicted that this internal belief would influence physical and relational aspects of couples’ sex lives.
The research team recruited a national sample of 452 heterosexual couples for the study. To participate, couples had to be in a committed sexual relationship for at least two years. This time requirement ensured that the couple had passed through the initial adjustment phase of the relationship and established established patterns of interaction.
Each partner completed an online questionnaire separately from their partner. This allowed the researchers to collect data on dyadic relationships. This means that we collected information from both members of the couple at the same time. Using data from both partners allows researchers to observe how one person’s beliefs affect their experience. This is known as the actor effect. You can also test whether that belief is projected onto your romantic partner, known as the partner effect.
The survey asked participants to rate their opinions on sexual sanctification, as well as their overall sexual satisfaction and feelings of passion toward their partner. The researchers also measured four specific behaviors that may serve as a bridge between sacred beliefs and overall satisfaction. These four mechanisms include sexual mindfulness, sexual communication, how often your partner has sex, and how consistently you experience orgasm.
Researchers measured two primary endpoints for a healthy sex life. The first is overall sexual satisfaction, which assesses a person’s general satisfaction with their physical relationship. The second measure was harmonious sexual passion. This concept refers to excitement about sexual activity that is well integrated into a relationship and easily balanced with the rest of daily life.
In this study, sexual mindfulness was defined as remaining aware and non-judgmental during sexual experiences. General mindfulness usually involves paying attention to the present moment to reduce distractions. Applying this skill to romantic encounters helps partners stay focused on the physical and emotional sensations of a particular moment.
Sexual communication measured how comfortable partners were in discussing their preferences and desires. Consistency of orgasm and frequency of intercourse represented the physical component of the relationship. The researchers considered the consistency of orgasms beyond just the frequency of intimacy. Having sex alone is often not enough to accurately measure the physical quality of a relationship, as past research has shown that partners who rarely reach climax tend to be less satisfied.
The researchers used statistical models to track how all these variables interacted in both men and women. The results highlight significant differences in how sexual sanctification relates to gender-based relationship practices. For female participants, seeing sex as sacred was strongly associated with all four testing mechanisms.
Women who held highly sacred views about sexual relationships reported more sexual mindfulness and more open communication. They also reported higher intercourse frequency and higher orgasm consistency. For women, open communication was the most powerful mechanism for linking divine perspective to overall sexual satisfaction. Taking a spiritual view of intimacy seems to allow women to be more proactive in communicating and communicating their needs.
Experiencing predictable climaxes and practicing sexual mindfulness were the next most powerful pathways for the women in the study. Specifically, sexual sanctification is associated with having sex more often, but simply having more sex does not reliably predict higher sexual satisfaction in women. Instead, the emotional and physical quality of the interaction carried significance for satisfaction.
For male participants, psychological connection looked very different. For men, sanctifying sex was only reliably associated with having sex more frequently. This belief was not directly related to how well they communicated, how much attention they paid during intimacy, or how consistently they reached orgasm.
Rather, the actual predictors of men’s sexual satisfaction were their actual communication habits and organized religious routines, such as attending religious services. The abstract concept of sexual sanctification does not seem to change men’s specific bedroom habits in the same way as it does for women. Behavioral and community aspects of popular religion may be central to influencing how men experience intimacy.
The researchers noted the lack of partner effects identified in their data. When looking at how one person’s belief system influenced another’s direct physical experience, the results were not statistically significant. Because sanctification is a very internal and personal framework for finding meaning, it is not easy to transfer directly to a partner’s personal satisfaction without intermediary actions such as conversation.
However, when open sexual communication and orgasm consistency were present in the relationship, both partners experienced significant benefits. When couples discussed their shared belief in the sacred nature of intimacy, it may have motivated them to put more effort into understanding each other’s functional needs. This mutual effort helps create the feelings of connection and love necessary for long-term sexual passion.
The authors of this study acknowledged that there were several limiting factors in the research process. Although the sample of participants was national in scope, it was not completely representative of a cross-section of the population. Specifically, certain ethnic groups were underrepresented across studies, and all participants were in heterosexual relationships.
Because this study only looked at opposite-sex couples, its results cannot be automatically generalized to the wider public. Future research should include a greater variety of relationship types and sexual orientations to see if these patterns are stable. Additionally, this study relies on single-item questions to measure the physical components of couples’ sex lives, which limits the depth of analysis.
The use of cross-sectional survey data serves as another limitation of the study. Because the researchers only recorded couples’ responses at one point in time, they cannot say that adopting a sacred view of sex automatically improves communication. There is a good chance that the psychological power relations will work against each other.
Partners who naturally communicate well and experience consistent pleasure may, over time, tend to begin to see their relationship as unique, special, or sacred. Future studies will need to follow couples over several years to find out which factors are truly linked to the others. Collecting longitudinal data will reveal how these meaning systems shift as couples experience major adult changes, such as changing jobs or raising children.
The study, “Mechanisms by which sexual sanctification may influence sexual outcomes: Sexual mindfulness, intercourse frequency, sexual communication, and orgasm consistency,” was authored by Dean M. Busby and Chelsea Zollinger Allen.
