New research shows that people with highly manipulative personalities have lower expectations for emotional intimacy in romantic relationships, with the strongest negative association being with older women. But our findings suggest that existing views about love and attachment habits shape connections more than negative personality traits alone. The study was published in Personality and Individual Differences.
Cultivating deep intimacy is widely considered to be the cornerstone of psychological well-being. A supportive, trusting romantic relationship provides a psychological buffer against life’s stressors and improves overall mental health. When people struggle to form these bonds, they often experience feelings of isolation and ongoing emotional distress.
Psychologists identify three socially hostile personality profiles, collectively known as the Dark Triad. Narcissism involves an excessive desire for grandiosity, entitlement, and admiration. Psychopathy is characterized by a lack of remorse, impulsive behavior, and coldness of emotions. Machiavellianism describes a cynical worldview and a manipulative, strategic approach to interacting with others.
People who score high on these traits often experience difficulties in relationships. Past research has linked these tendencies to infidelity, low commitment, and a tendency to view relationships as a game. There is less focus on what these people actually expect from their partners in terms of mutual sharing and emotional trust.
Intimacy goes beyond physical affection. Psychologists define intimacy expectations as expectations of mutual self-disclosure, deep trust, and shared understanding. People with high intimacy expectations seek a partner who acknowledges their deepest feelings. People with low expectations prefer to keep their personal thoughts hidden.
These standards are heavily influenced by a person’s underlying attachment style. Attachment theory was originally developed to explain how infants bond with their caregivers. Psychologists have since applied this framework to understand how adult romantic partners relate to each other.
Attachment styles typically fall into secure and insecure categories. People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable in close relationships and are usually warm and affectionate people. Insecure attachment styles, including patterns of anxiety and avoidance, tend to create psychological barriers to experiencing a deep and fulfilling love life.
Psychological theory proposes that early social experiences form broad mental rules about whether a person can be trusted. People with an avoidant attachment style try to minimize their vulnerability by maintaining emotional distance. They often downplay the importance of having a responsive partner.
People with an anxious attachment style frequently worry about being abandoned and remain highly sensitive to rejection. Beliefs about romance also influence how much intimacy a person seeks. Some people have a very idealistic view of love, believing in concepts such as true love and soulmates. These romantic ideals shape the way people evaluate the potential for intimacy in their partnerships.
Researchers Silvija Lucevic and Josipa Antonovic from Josip Juraj Strossmayer University in Osijek, Croatia, set out to understand how these factors relate to each other. They wanted to assess whether Dark Triad profiles, attachment habits, or idealized romantic beliefs were the main drivers of relationship expectations. They also examined whether demographic factors such as age and gender changed these emotional patterns.
To find out, Lucevic and Antonovic surveyed 900 adults between the ages of 18 and 74 who were currently in a romantic relationship. The sample was primarily heterosexual and included married and dating couples. Participants completed a series of questionnaires designed to measure their levels of Dark Triad traits.
Participants rated their Machiavellian tendencies in response to statements such as “I have a tendency to manipulate others.” They also answered questions about relationship anxiety, emotional avoidance, and beliefs about idealized romance. Finally, the researchers used a standardized intimacy scale to measure what each participant expected in terms of emotional intimacy and trust.
The researchers used statistical models to analyze the data to see which traits and beliefs were valued most. They used a multilayered approach, adding variables step by step to determine which factors uniquely predicted a person’s expectations for intimacy. This hierarchical statistical process is known as hierarchical regression.
Hierarchical regression allows researchers to see if newly added variables explain something new about the data. By first entering age and gender into the model, the scientists ensured that subsequent findings about personality were not just illusions created by demographic differences. In subsequent steps, personality traits were introduced, followed by relationship beliefs and attachment habits.
They found that general relationship habits were the strongest predictor of intimacy expectations. Avoidant attachment strongly predicted a desire to reduce emotional intimacy. In contrast, having highly idealized romantic beliefs was the strongest predictor of expecting high levels of intimacy.
Looking specifically at the Dark Triad, researchers found diverse effects among three different traits. Machiavellianism emerged as the strongest personality predictor of low intimacy expectations. People who view social interactions as a strategic endeavor appear to be less likely to expect mutual trust in romantic relationships.
Narcissism showed a slightly different pattern during analysis. When taken alone as a single data point, narcissism had a small but negative correlation with intimacy expectations. When the researchers statistically removed the manipulative tendencies of Machiavellianism, narcissism weakly predicted increased intimacy expectations.
This statistical phenomenon is known as the suppression effect. Researchers suggest that the need for approval and recognition that accompanies narcissism may cause a basic desire for intimacy. Egocentric people may still desire admiration and connection, even if their interpersonal needs are mostly self-centered.
Psychopathy did not uniquely predict intimacy expectations when other personality variables were included in the model. Although psychopathy is associated with harmful behavioral outcomes such as infidelity, it may not have a significant impact on the cognitive thoughts people have about intimacy. The way an individual acts in a romantic relationship may simply be different from what they have conceptualized in their head.
The researchers also conducted a moderation analysis to see if the mathematical relationships changed by age and gender. They found that demographics influenced the relationship between Machiavellianism and intimacy expectations. The negative association between manipulative traits and desire for intimacy was stronger for older women.
Older women with high levels of Machiavellianism reported the lowest expectations for intimacy of any demographic group surveyed. Young women and men of all ages showed relatively stable patterns. In these groups, higher Machiavellian scores predicted lower intimacy expectations, but the effect was consistent across age changes.
Researchers note that over time, women with strong Machiavellianism may develop an increasingly realistic and emotionally distant view of relationships. This psychological distance can be further exacerbated if they consistently choose partners with similar adversarial traits. Narcissism and psychopathy are stable across all demographic groups, with no moderation by age or gender.
Although the results provide a nuanced look at the dynamics of relationships, the study also has limitations. This study relied entirely on self-report surveys. This method can introduce psychological biases because participants cannot always be honest about socially undesirable motives and behaviors.
This study also used a cross-sectional design, meaning data was collected at a single, static time point. Because the data are observational, we cannot prove that these personality traits cause specific intimacy expectations. Longitudinal studies that follow couples over many years will be needed to establish how these mental frameworks evolve.
The researchers noted that overall scores for socially hostile traits were relatively low in the non-clinical community sample. Although the statistical effects were observable, they were modest in mathematical magnitude. This indicates that intimacy is a multifaceted concept shaped by various personal and environmental factors.
Understanding the causes of low intimacy expectations can help psychologists develop better relationship therapies. If the counselor knows that the patient views the relationship strictly as a strategic alliance, the counselor can adjust the therapy session accordingly. Before attempting to change superficial romantic behaviors, it is often necessary to address these underlying cognitive frameworks.
Future research could investigate how cultural context and interactions with specific partners change these internal relationship maps. Expectations of intimacy can be shaped not only by individual psychology but also by broader social norms. By integrating cognitive beliefs and personality analysis, researchers can better map why some individuals struggle to form healthy romantic relationships.
The study, “Behind the Mask of Love: The Dark Triad of Traits, the Association of Attachment Avoidance and Anxiety, Romantic Beliefs, and Intimacy Expectations,” was authored by Silvija Lucevic and Josipa Antonovic.
