Recent research published in Journal of social and personal relationships provide evidence that being ignored by a romantic partner in favor of a smartphone is associated with lower relationship quality. This behavior tends to be accompanied by decreased mindfulness within the relationship, which leads to decreased valuation of the romantic relationship. This finding suggests that remaining emotionally present may protect couples from the negative patterns associated with digital distractions.
In modern times, mobile phones are deeply integrated into daily life. Smartphones keep people connected to the wider world, but their presence during face-to-face interactions can disrupt immediate communication. A common manifestation of this is the term “phubbing”, which is a combination of the words “phone” and “nose”.
Phubbing occurs when a person takes their attention away from the other person in the conversation and looks at their mobile device. In past research, this behavior tends to be associated with decreased relationship satisfaction and increased psychological distress. Less attention has been paid to the psychological resources that may help couples overcome these disruptions to their daily routines.
Tuva Türk Kulça, a researcher at the Department of Psychological Counseling and Guidance at the University of Thracia in Edirne, Türkiye province, undertook this study to understand these dynamics. “Smartphones have become a constant presence in everyday life, including in romantic relationships,” Türk Kulcha said. “While technology has many benefits, I was interested in how the use of a phone during face-to-face interactions impacts a partner’s sense of connection and relationship experience.”
Within a romantic partnership, mindfulness involves being open and accepting of shared experiences. Caring partners are generally better at controlling their emotions and responding constructively to relationship stressors. “I was particularly interested in understanding whether mindfulness in romantic relationships could help explain why perceptions of pubbing with a partner are associated with relationship outcomes,” Türk-Kulcha explained.
To explore these dynamics, Turku Kulça recruited 704 heterosexual romantic couples living in Turkiye. This resulted in a total sample size of 1,408 participants. Participants’ ages ranged from 18 to 35, and approximately 23% of participants reported having been in a relationship for less than 6 months, while the remainder had been in a relationship for longer.
Participants completed an online survey. The journey took approximately 15 minutes. Both partners in each relationship were required to complete measures that allowed for analysis of the dyadic relationship. Dyadic analysis is a statistical approach that examines how the characteristics and behaviors of one partner are related to those of the other partner.
“One aspect of the study that I think is particularly valuable is its binary structure,” Türk Kulcha said. “Rather than collecting data from just one member of the couple, we collected data from both partners and looked at how each person’s experiences related to both their own outcomes and their partner’s outcomes. This approach provides a more comprehensive picture of how relationship processes unfold within couples.”
Participants answered questions assessing three key variables. First, they reported on pub acts with their partners. This measure assessed how often people felt their partner ignored them on the phone using a question asking whether their partner checked their device during a lull in the conversation. A higher score indicates a higher level of perceived phone snubbing.
Couples then completed a measure of mindfulness in their romantic relationships. This assessed how often they operated on autopilot without paying attention to their partner. Items were scored such that higher values reflected greater interpersonal mindfulness.
Finally, participants rated the quality of their romantic relationships. This section focused on broad aspects such as trust, intimacy, and overall satisfaction. Participants answered questions about how satisfied and close they felt their relationships were, with higher scores indicating higher quality bonds.
The statistical model assessed both “actor effects” and “partner effects.” Actor effects examine how a person’s own experiences are related to their own outcomes. Partner effects examine how a person’s experiences are related to their romantic partner’s outcomes.
The data revealed that perceived liking for one’s partner had a negative impact on relationship mindfulness for both men and women. People who felt ignored by their partner’s phone use reported feeling less attentive and present in their own relationships. This actor effect suggests that experiencing phubbing is linked to people feeling removed from a shared emotional moment.
This lower level of mindfulness was associated with lower ratings of overall relationship quality. Women and men who reported higher levels of mindfulness also reported more positive evaluations of their relationships. This supports the idea that staying engaged and present goes hand in hand with more secure and satisfying interpersonal bonds.
“One of the important lessons is that in intimate relationships, seemingly small moments of distraction can be important,” Türk Kulcha said. “If you feel like your partner is more focused on the phone than talking, you may be less attentive and less emotionally available in your relationship.”
Türk Kulcha pointed out that this low level of mindfulness is part of the indirect pathway. “My findings suggest that this decreased mindfulness of relationships is associated with decreased perceptions of relationship quality,” the authors explained. “In other words, feeling seen, heard, and cared for in everyday interactions may play an important role in maintaining successful relationships.”
In addition to these individual patterns, the authors found evidence of partner effects. When one person reported feeling unwell, their partner actually reported lower levels of mindfulness. The smartphone disruption seems to coincide with a change in the emotional status of both parties.
“One of the findings that I found particularly interesting was that the association extended beyond the individual who perceived himself as disliked,” Türk-Kulcha said. “The results suggested that experiences related to phubbing with a partner were also related to the partner’s level of mindfulness toward the relationship.”
Although the direct association between one person’s mindfulness and another person’s relationship quality was not statistically significant, broader implications remain. “Although these partner effects are generally smaller than actor effects, they highlight the interconnected nature of romantic relationships and suggest that technology-related behaviors may have broader relational effects than we typically assume,” Türk-Kulcha said.
Although this study provides evidence of negative patterns associated with smartphone distraction, there are also limitations that should be considered. This study used a cross-sectional design, meaning that data were collected at a single point in time. Therefore, this study cannot definitively prove that phubbing causes decreased mindfulness or relationship quality.
“As the study is cross-sectional, it is not possible to establish a causal relationship,” Türk Kulcha warned. “While these findings show that there is an association between liking one’s partner, mindfulness, and relationship quality, they do not prove that one variable directly causes another.”
The sample was also limited to young, unmarried, heterosexual couples, many of whom were college students. “As the sample consisted of unmarried heterosexual young people living in Turkiye, the findings should not be generalized to all populations or relationship situations without further research,” the authors added.
Future research may benefit from examining these dynamics in more diverse populations to see if the patterns hold for different demographics. Scientists could also investigate how the specific context of interaction is associated with negative aspects of digital distraction.
Türk Kulcha plans to continue investigating these romantic dynamics. “We hope to investigate these processes using longitudinal, daily diary methods to better understand how technology-related behaviors influence relationship dynamics over time,” the researchers said.
The main goal is to find ways to protect couples from modern disturbances. “I am also interested in exploring other factors that may help protect relationships from the potential negative effects of digital distractions, such as communication patterns, emotional regulation, and interpersonal skills,” Türk Kulcha concluded.
The study “Phubbing, Romantic Relationship Quality, and Mindfulness in Romantic Relationships: A Dyadic Analysis of Unmarried Couples” was authored by Tuğba Türk Kurtça.
