Sharing a similar positive sense of humor appears to increase the chances of a successful romantic relationship during the early stages of online dating. Recent research published in North American Journal of Psychology It suggests that people with compatible and constructive humor styles are more likely to express interest in dating each other after an initial digital conversation. These findings show that dating apps could benefit by going beyond mere looks and pairing users based on how they make others laugh.
The research team from the National University of Manila included Stephanie Kate Tejome, Jenny Rose Sano, Alyssa Michaela Casabuena, and Massachusetts. Christina Mae Gonzalez, Princess Kathleen DeGracia, Rita Aringo. They aimed to understand how different ways of expressing humor affect romantic attraction in virtual spaces. Online dating platforms generally rely heavily on physical attractiveness to match users, often ignoring interpersonal personality traits that help people bond.
Humor is a well-established social tool associated with mental health and relationship building. Past psychological research has shown that people value their partner’s sense of humor. Being funny often indicates desirable traits such as creative problem-solving skills, social abilities, and intelligence.
To explore this dynamic, the authors turned to similarity-attraction theory. This psychological concept suggests that humans naturally tend to be attracted to individuals who share their attitudes, values, and behaviors. The researchers wanted to see if this well-established theory applied specifically to how people use comedy.
Psychologists typically categorize humor into four different dimensions based on an assessment tool called the Humor Style Questionnaire. Two of these aspects are considered adaptive, meaning they are positive and healthy. Affiliative humor involves using jokes to entertain others and build relationships. Self-help humor uses a humorous perspective to cope with stress and maintain a positive attitude.
The other two aspects are considered maladaptive and can have a negative impact on relationships. Aggressive humor involves teasing or ridiculing others to make oneself look good. Self-destructive humor involves putting oneself down to gain approval from colleagues or potential partners.
The authors noted that the changing landscape of digital romance was the main motivation. “At the time we conceived our study, online dating was becoming increasingly popular among peers, particularly through platforms such as Bumble,” the researchers said. “We also observed that anonymous online chat websites like Omegle and ChatKool have become popular spaces for young people, especially college students, to seek connections with potential romantic partners.”
These digital areas serve as modern meeting places that rely heavily on conversation. “These platforms gradually evolved into informal online dating environments, where the exchange of funny, engaging, or intriguing messages often determined the direction of the conversation and whether users were interested in pursuing a deeper connection,” the authors explained. “Humor has long been an integral part of Filipino culture, and jokes and playful banter have often been used to make conversations more fun and engaging.”
The cultural context provided a natural setting for studying digital matchmaking. “Similarly, humor, such as jokes, witty remarks, and pick-up lines, is also frequently used as an opening strategy on online dating apps,” the researchers added. “This observation inspired us to explore how humor influences interpersonal attraction and whether different humor styles act as predictors of compatibility in romantic relationships.”
To test their idea, the scientists recruited a sample of 160 straight Filipino college students. Participants included 80 men and 80 women, all between the ages of 18 and 25. Each participant first completed a humor style questionnaire to help scientists identify their primary use of comedy.
The authors used a quasi-experimental design to categorize students into 10 different humor style combinations. A quasi-experimental design is a type of research that assigns participants to groups based on pre-existing characteristics rather than completely randomly. These 10 groups represented different combinations of similar and contrasting humor styles.
After pairing up, each male/female duo had a 10-minute conversation using Discord. Discord is a popular digital communication platform that allows users to chat via text, voice, or video. After this virtual interaction, participants independently rated their level of dating intentions. They reported how interested they were in pursuing a romantic relationship with their assigned chat partner using a specific five-item rating scale.
The researchers used statistical tests to analyze the data and compare different combinations. They found that pairs who shared the same adaptive humor style reported the highest dating intention scores. Specifically, affinity-affinity matches and self-enhancement-self-enhancement matches showed stronger initial romantic interest than pairs with incongruent or negative humor styles.
This data provides evidence that humor style compatibility modestly but consistently increases initial romantic interest online. At the other end of the spectrum, combinations that included negative humor performed poorly. Two-person matches that used aggressive humor had the lowest scores for dating intentions of all 10 group combinations.
Interpreting these results requires recognition of certain boundaries within the research design. The sample consisted exclusively of young heterosexual college students in the Philippines. This particular demographic means that the findings may not naturally apply to older adults, people from other cultural backgrounds, or individuals with different sexual orientations.
The 10-minute digital conversation captured only a brief snapshot of first impressions. Scientists don’t yet know whether this initial humorous compatibility will lead to a successful long-term romantic relationship. Future research should follow couples over time to see if their shared humor style predicts relationship quality that lasts over time.
The researchers hope their work will foster a deeper understanding of digital matchmaking algorithms. “Through this study, we aim to help individuals recognize that attraction and relationship formation are influenced by a variety of factors, especially in the context of online dating, where humor and humor style play an important role,” they said. “Our findings suggest that people who share similar humor styles are more likely to experience positive match outcomes and relationship compatibility.”
“This is consistent with similarity attraction theory, which states that people tend to be more attracted to others who have similar characteristics and behaviors to themselves,” the authors noted. “Furthermore, our results show that people who use an adaptive humor style tend to have more positive, enjoyable, and meaningful interactions than those who use a primarily maladaptive humor style.”
The way a person tells a joke is just as important as the joke itself. “This study therefore highlights that humor in online dating can have positive or negative effects, depending on how it is expressed,” the researchers concluded. “More importantly, a shared and adaptive humor style may serve as a valuable element in fostering attraction and establishing romantic connections in online environments.”
The study, “Humor Me: Humor Style Compatibility as a Predictor of Successful Matches in Online Dating,” was authored by Stephanie Kate Tejome, Jenny Rose Sano, and Alyssa Michaela Casabuena, MA. Christina Mae Gonzalez, Princess Kathleen DeGracia, Rita Aringo.
