Recent research published in Journal of social and personal relationships Our findings suggest that the way people interact with attractive strangers on TikTok can influence trust and satisfaction in romantic relationships. This study provides evidence that watching or liking a “thirst trap” tends to damage relationships, especially if the person in the video looks physically different from their real-life partner.
Scientists wanted to understand how modern social media algorithms affect the stability of romantic relationships. On platforms like TikTok, the content users see is heavily influenced by automated systems that recommend videos based on previous engagement, not just the accounts users choose to follow. The algorithm curates a personalized video feed that often contains “thirst traps.”
Thirst traps are videos that are created specifically to highlight an attractive person’s body or to arouse sexual interest in the viewer. This algorithm pushes content based on your viewing habits, so the continued presence of attractive alternatives in this feed may indicate that your commitment to your current partner is wavering.
Algorithms are highly effective at facilitating new connections for singles looking to expand their social networks. But for people in committed relationships, these same algorithms can create unwanted temptations by constantly suggesting attractive alternatives.
The researchers wanted to find out whether people can sense these digital signals and how these perceptions can change the quality of their relationships. Past research has investigated how individuals ignore or devalue attractive options to protect their relationships. Few studies have investigated how one partner’s view of the other’s digital habits changes relationship dynamics.
“This study was motivated by a conference discussion group on the dynamics of close relationships in the context of social media. One of my primary research interests is studying how people in committed relationships perceive the threat of another,” said study author Alexandra E. Black, a postdoctoral fellow at Rutgers School of Public Health.
“In other words, how do people perceive that their romantic partners are interacting with attractive people, and how does this affect their relationships? I applied my concept, known as partner devaluation, to the context of Instagram and dating apps, and this current study is a timely addition with its application to TikTok.”
“TikTok has quickly become one of the most popular social media platforms. As a side effect, TikTok can pose another threat to relationships through ‘thirst traps.’ My team wanted to determine how perceptions of alternatives on TikTok are related to relationship satisfaction and trust, and whether there are certain characteristics (e.g., perceived similarity) about alternatives on TikTok that make them more threatening. ”
Scientists recruited 65 romantic couples, a total of 130 people, for an online survey. Participants were on average 29 years old and most identified as heterosexual. The researchers asked each person a series of questions about their own TikTok usage and their awareness of the videos their partners watched.
Participants reported how attractive they found the people on their video feed and how attractive their partner found the people on their partner’s feed. The scientists also measured whether participants were projecting. Projection occurs when you assume that your partner shares the exact same thoughts and feelings about an attractive stranger, such as projecting your own attraction onto your partner.
By measuring this prediction, researchers were able to separate how much of a person’s worries were based in reality or in their own imagination. Finally, the survey asked about active engagement, such as following creators and liking videos. We also measured passive engagement, such as simply watching a video that automatically appeared on the screen. Next, participants completed a standard psychological questionnaire to assess their overall relationship trust and satisfaction.
The data revealed clear patterns in how digital behaviors relate to relationship trust and satisfaction. Surprisingly, the researchers found that an individual’s beliefs about how often their partner watched or liked TikTok videos did not significantly change relationship trust or satisfaction. The data showed no significant association between individuals’ perceptions of their partner’s digital habits and overall relationship quality.
“It was surprising that the perception that one’s partner was using an alternative to TikTok did not significantly predict relationship quality,” Black told PsyPost. “There are well-known findings in the relationship science literature that suggest that perception > reality in a relationship predicts relationship outcomes. Perhaps our sample was not sufficiently aware of their partner’s engagement on TikTok that perceptions were unable to influence feelings of trust or satisfaction.”
Instead, only a partner’s actual self-reported engagement with an attractive stranger on the app predicted negative relationship outcomes. When participants believed their partner was already deeply committed to the relationship, their partner’s actual digital habits did not have a significant impact on relationship trust. However, when participants believed their partner was less committed to the relationship, their partner’s actual digital habits became significantly more relevant.
Participants tended to experience higher levels of trust if their partner reported that they truly thought people on TikTok were unattractive. This suggests that a partner’s actual protective behavior may be more influential than simply what a person perceives their partner to be doing. Taking proactive steps to lower digital temptation internally seems to reassure doubtful partners.
The researchers also found that engaging with attractive people on TikTok had a negative impact on relationship quality, depending on who appeared in the video. Participants reported lower trust and lower relationship satisfaction when their partners actively liked or followed attractive users who were not physically similar to participants.
Even passive engagement, such as simply watching videos of different attractive people appearing on screen, was associated with lower relationship satisfaction. Scientists suggest that this may occur because seeing a partner engage with a very different physical “type” challenges a person’s assumptions about what is ideal in a partner. This physical discrepancy can create new insecurities in the relationship.
“Having partners who aren’t really seduced by attractive TikTok alternatives is important to protect trust,” Black said. “This is especially true when perceived partner commitment may be wavering or when a person has doubts about their partner’s commitment. However, people who actively engage with TikTok alternatives (e.g., following accounts or liking videos) are detrimental to relationship quality (i.e., satisfaction and trust), especially if the alternatives are dissimilar to their current partner.”
Although this study provides evidence regarding the intersection of social media and romantic relationships, there may be some misconceptions and limitations that should be considered. The study is based on self-reported estimates of TikTok usage, which may not fully reflect individuals’ actual usage time and viewing habits. The study is also a point-in-time observation, meaning scientists cannot conclusively prove that watching TikTok videos directly causes relationship problems.
“We hope to uncover causal relationships in follow-up studies by experimentally manipulating perceptions of TikTok alternatives,” Black said. “stay tuned!”
“One of the strengths of this study is that we collected data from both members of each couple to get a dyadic view of these processes. This has been a very enjoyable research process, and that’s largely due to my amazing team. Thank you Liesel, Sarah, and Carissa!”
The study, “Does My Partner See a Thirst Trap? The Association between Partner Perceptions of TikTok Alternatives and Relationship Quality,” was authored by Alexandra E. Black, Liesel L. Sharabi, Sara Cloonan, and Karissa L. Beesley.
