Everyday conversations with romantic partners are deeply influenced by underlying relationship dynamics, such as uncertainty and mutual support. Recent research has found that there are differences in how men and women respond to these underlying power relations, with men’s doubts about the relationship predicting a negative emotional and communicative tone for both partners. The study was published in the journal Communication Research.
Romantic relationships naturally involve the merging of everyday life and personal goals. As partners become more involved in each other’s lives, they may help or hinder each other’s daily activities.
Researchers refer to the perception that a partner is contributing to achieving a goal as facilitation. Interference is the perception that your partner is interfering with your daily goals.
Both concepts are central to relational turbulence theory. This psychological framework investigates how relationship parameters shape emotions and conversations during specific periods of transition or change.
Previous theories about romantic relationships suggest that interference from a partner naturally evokes negative emotions in the moment. Interpersonal communication researchers call this the “emotional model of relationships.”
Relational turbulence theory builds on this idea by arguing that frequent repeated experiences of interference and facilitation produce cumulative effects. In articulating relational turbulence theory, researchers initially utilized excitation transfer theory to explain this dynamics.
This theory suggests that prolonged emotional arousal from past interactions can transfer to new situations and intensify people’s reactions toward their current partner. Over time, these daily disruptions and supports add up to create an emotionally sensitive environment.
In addition to facilitation and intervention, this framework emphasizes relational uncertainty. Relationship uncertainty includes doubts that individuals have about their own commitment, their partner’s feelings, or the future of the relationship itself.
These questions often surface when changes in the interpersonal environment make old routines and assumed roles obsolete. When partners are uncertain about their relationship, they lack a solid framework for interpreting their communications. They rely on distorted evaluations and may interpret neutral statements as threatening or negative.
Louisiana State University researchers Kelly St. Cyr Brisini and Ningyang Wang wanted to test these competing claims in a real-world setting. Previous research on relational turbulence theory has relied heavily on surveys rather than real-time observations of how partners talk to each other.
Scientists designed a laboratory study to examine how relationship parameters affect the emotions of both members of a couple and the quality of their conversations. They also wanted to find out how an individual’s emotions influence their communication style. They call this the actor effect.
At the same time, they wanted to know how a person’s emotions affect their partner’s communication style. Because conversation partners are interdependent, one person’s emotional experience is often reflected in the other person’s behavior. Researchers refer to this interpersonal influence as the partner effect.
The research team recruited 71 couples of different genders for the study. Before arriving in the lab, 142 participants completed a questionnaire assessing their current relationship.
These surveys measured each person’s relationship uncertainty and feelings of partner interference and partner facilitation. Participants then came to the laboratory and completed two interactive problem-solving tasks.
During the vacation planning simulation, couples sat together on a couch to simulate a living room environment. They used a laptop survey to choose between a trip to the mountains, the beach, or a big city, and made daily decisions about accommodations, meals, and activities while the program tracked their spending.
For the errand planning task, couples sat at a conference table with a physical map and a list of locations. They had to act as if they were planning a party, had only 90 minutes to walk to gather supplies, and had to negotiate the most efficient walking route together.
Each conversation lasted 10 minutes and was video recorded. Immediately after each task, participants filled out a form assessing their level of irritation and happiness during the interaction.
The video recordings were then viewed by a team of trained external observers. To prevent bias, observers watched the video recordings at least twice and focused their attention on only one partner at a time during each playback. This allowed the raters to rate the man and woman independently without unduly influencing the couple as a single unit.
They rated each partner’s behavior regarding their involvement in communication. This refers to how actively a person is involved in the discussion. Observers also rated each person’s communication skills. Valance describes the general tone of communication, from positive and constructive to negative and destructive.
Researchers have identified different patterns of emotional experience for men and women. Men’s feelings of relationship uncertainty were strongly associated with the emotional atmosphere of the conversation.
When men feel anxious about the state of their relationships, both men and their partners are less likely to report feeling happy during planning tasks. These men were also more likely to report feeling irritable.
The man’s irritation then changed the tone of the conversation. Couples in which the man reported being irritable received higher observer ratings of negative communication from both partners.
Women’s relationship parameters did not predict men’s emotional experiences in the same way. Instead, women’s emotional experiences were more closely tied to their partner’s facilitation.
Women are more likely to feel happy during interactions if they feel that their partner is helping them achieve their daily goals. They were also less likely to feel irritated.
The researchers tested the theoretical claim that interference causes more intense emotional reactions than facilitation. The results were not consistent with this aspect of the theory. Rather, facilitation was a stronger predictor of emotion across statistical models, especially for the women in the study.
The statistical model allowed the team to examine direct associations between relationship parameters and communication. Women’s perceptions of both partner interference and partner facilitation were negatively correlated with negative communication from both individuals. Women who felt that their partners were generally engaged in their lives, whether that engagement helped or hindered their goals, tended to engage in less negative communication, and their partners followed suit.
In general, positive emotions led to better conversations overall. When either partner reported feeling happy, observers noted higher levels of positive communication from both individuals.
Happiness was also associated with higher levels of conversational engagement among men. Irritability, on the other hand, had no effect on either partner’s level of task involvement.
According to the psychological model of emotion, negative emotions usually lead to specific behavioral tendencies. Strong negative emotions, such as anger, often prompt individuals to attack or confront the cause of injustice. In contrast, irritability is considered to be a milder negative emotion of low to moderate intensity.
Irritability usually occurs when a person’s thoughts and actions are interrupted by negative stimuli. The natural behavioral tendency in response to frustration is to withdraw from it or complain about it. Conversely, positive emotions such as joy and amusement encourage people to approach the situation and prolong the pleasurable experience.
Based on these behavioral trends, the researchers predicted that the annoyance might cause participants to withdraw from the activity. This study’s focus on cooperative, low-risk tasks may explain why frustration did not lead to withdrawal. Planning a hypothetical vacation or errand route is not inherently stressful, which may limit the intensity of negative emotions experienced by participants.
Because the tasks were largely neutral, most participants reported being either very satisfied or not at all annoyed. Future research could observe couples during active conflict discussions to see how stronger emotions, such as anger or sadness, alter communication engagement.
These findings provide insight for relationship counselors and couples addressing communication issues. This result suggests that directly addressing interpersonal uncertainty may prevent negative emotions from spilling over into everyday problem-solving discussions. Couples struggling with relationship uncertainty may benefit from discussing their relationship directly to minimize unnecessary emotional distress.
This study also highlights the importance of supports that promote behavior. Partners who actively help each other manage their daily lives and goals foster positive emotions that lead to more constructive conversations.
The fact that participants rate their feelings after completing an activity also means that the data are cross-sectional in nature. This limits our ability to state that observed changes in communication are directly caused by emotion. Additionally, this study is based on a sample of college students. Tracking these behaviors in diverse demographics and older adults can reveal different emotional and communication patterns.
The study, “The Role of Relationship Parameters in Emotional Experiences During Interactions Between Romantic Partners: Testing Relationship Turbulence Theory in a Laboratory Study of Dyadic Relationships,” was authored by Kellie St.Cyr Brisini and Ningyang “Ocean” Wang.
