Recent research published in Journal of Sex Research provide evidence that how couples divide household chores is associated with women’s sexual desire, but this association is highly dependent on personal beliefs about gender roles. The findings suggest that women who prefer equal partnerships tend to have lower sexual desire when they take on more household chores, while women who embrace traditional gender roles do not. These insights highlight how societal expectations about gender shape the dynamics of intimate relationships.
Decreased sexual desire is frequently reported among women in long-term relationships with men. Historically, scientists often treated this as an individual or relationship problem. They tend to attribute stress, relationship dissatisfaction, or hormonal changes as the main causes.
Society often treats low desire in women as an internal or medical problem without considering the environment in which the woman lives. Psychological theory suggests that society normalizes strictly binary gender roles, positioning women as caregivers with naturally low sexual motivation and men as providers with high sexual interest. The researchers wanted to see whether living within these structural gender inequalities actually shapes sexual desire.
Alexandra Liebman, a clinical psychology doctoral student in the Department of Psychological and Neuroscience at the University of Colorado Boulder, helped lead the study. She conducts research in the Growth, Identity, and Sexual Trauma Laboratory at the Renee Crown Wellness Institute.
“One way that broader inequalities between men and women manifest in romantic relationships is through the unequal division of housework, with women often doing more housework than their male partners,” Liebman explained. “Despite growing expectations for a more equal division of gender roles in relationships, women continue to do much of the household work.”
Because this imbalance persists, scientists set out to investigate how domestic responsibilities affect physical intimacy. “We hypothesized that when women do more housework, they might have less desire to have sex with their partners in long-term relationships, especially if they value egalitarian partnerships,” Liebman said.
To test these ideas, the researchers conducted two separate studies. The first study utilized a sample of 163 mixed-sex couples, or a total of 326 participants. These couples lived together during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The scientists took a longitudinal approach, asking participants to complete an initial baseline survey and then three surveys a week.
The survey asked participants to report on their sexual desires and estimate how they divided household chores with their partner. Participants also completed a psychological survey that is widely used to measure levels of benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism refers to a set of beliefs that idealize traditional, complementary gender roles, often framing women as naturally warm caregivers and men as providers.
Researchers found that women generally reported having lower sex drives and doing more domestic work than men. Surprisingly, doing more general household chores was not directly associated with lower sexual desire among women as a group over the study period. For women, the relationship between housework and sexual desire depended on beliefs about gender roles.
A second study expanded on these ideas using another sample of 617 people in mixed-sex relationships. This group included 409 parents, allowing researchers to examine the specific effects of parenting. Instead of a single question about general household chores, participants in the second study completed a detailed 59-item survey about specific household chores.
These tasks include categories such as cleaning, financial management, social planning, and parenting planning. For each item, participants indicated who typically completed the task, ranging from those who performed the task fully themselves to those whose partner performed the task fully. This allowed scientists to see whether certain types of chores have a different impact on sexual desire.
Similar to the first study, there was no overall decrease in sexual desire among all the women who simply did more housework. However, when we focus on specific types of household chores, subtle differences emerge. Women reported lower sexual desire when they took on more cleaning, childcare, and financial management tasks.
“Despite societal changes that emphasize an egalitarian division of household chores between men and women, women still do more of the household chores in almost all areas of household chores,” Liebman told SciPost. “In our study, even though most couples were both employed and both partners worked outside the home, women on average did more housework in all areas except financial work, household management, and home and car maintenance.”
This unequal burden carries a certain psychological weight. “Women taking on the majority of domestic labor even after working outside the home is known as ‘second shift,’ and this is an important example of gender inequality,” Liebman added.
Both studies provided evidence that benevolent sexism plays a moderating role. “How household chores are divided is important for a woman’s sexual desire for a partner, especially if she wants a fair relationship,” Liebman stressed.
“When women endorsed less benign sexism (because they wanted an equal partnership) and split household chores 50-50 with their male partners, they reported the highest sexual desire for their partners,” Liebman elaborated. “But when women who wanted an equal partnership did more housework than their male partners, they reported the lowest sexual desire for their partners.”
The burden of physical and mental labor appears to have been particularly heavy on parents. When the researchers separated the groups of mothers, they found that mothers who did more of the household work overall had the lowest sex drive.
“Regardless of well-intentioned sexist attitudes, when mothers increased their domestic labor, they reported a decrease in their desire to have sex with their male partners,” Liebman said. “Previous research has shown that when couples have children, the division of household chores tends to shift between men and women, even in couples that value egalitarian partnerships.”
Because of this change, Liebman advised, “Our study suggests that parents should pay particular attention to how they divide household chores and how this relates to sex life.”
A potential misconception is that holding traditional sexist beliefs is universally beneficial for women’s romantic relationships. While benevolent sexism may buffer women’s sexual desire from the negative effects of unequal housework, these beliefs are commonly linked to broader social inequalities.
“Although women who endorsed more benevolent sexist attitudes and did more housework than their male partners did not report decreased sexual desire for men, these sexual ‘benefits’ serve as a way to hide the significant costs for women who endorse more benevolent sexist attitudes,” Liebman warned.
“For example, previous research has shown that when women endorse more benevolent sexism, they have less power in public life, fewer career advancements, lower career performance, and worse well-being,” Liebman explained. “While women who uphold more traditional gender roles may not experience these costs in their sexual desire for a partner when doing more domestic work, they may still experience costs in their personal and professional lives.”
As with all research, there are some limitations. Because the study was based on self-reported survey data and was observational, scientists cannot conclude that increased housework directly causes lower sexual desire. It is quite possible that other unmeasured factors influence both how couples divide roles and how much desire they feel.
The researchers note that both studies focused only on relatively satisfied mixed couples in Western countries. The dynamics between housework and sexuality may look very different for same-sex couples, who tend to divide labor more equally. Patterns may also be different in countries with very different gender norms.
In the future, the scientists plan to investigate what active communication strategies couples use regarding housework. “This study suggests that, on average, the division of labor in romantic relationships between men and women remains gendered, and that this may be associated with lower sexual desire in women,” Liebman said.
“However, little is known about how couples negotiate and discuss role sharing, and whether couples reflect gender roles in this role sharing,” continued Liebman. “We’re currently asking couples in long-term relationships how gender-neutral they think their roles are and whether they discuss it.”
The study, “Housework and the Division of Sexual Desire: Gender Roles and Benevolent Sexism,” was authored by Alexandra Liebman, Emily J. Cross, and Amy Muse.
