Recent research published in personal relationship This provides evidence that people with highly trusting and kind personalities do not actively seek out partners who are manipulative or cruel. Rather, they are just less likely to reject these types of people than the average person. This dynamic suggests that a strong tendency to see the good in others can make people less selective in romantic situations.
The authors of the new study sought to better understand how contrasting personality traits interact during the very early stages of romantic attraction. In the study of relationships, there is an idea known as complementarity. This concept suggests that people may be attracted to partners who have characteristics different from themselves. For example, a submissive person seeking a dominant partner.
“Finding the ‘perfect match’, a romantic partner, is something that many people aspire to. Some may think that we all just want to be happy and ideally not be alone. “Studies show that similarity in certain characteristics (such as values, beliefs) is beneficial for long-term relationship satisfaction. At the same time, differences in other characteristics, such as social dominance, may also have benefits,” said study author Yana Sofie. Mr. Kasenheimer, postdoctoral researcher at the University of Innsbruck.
The researchers aimed to test whether this idea that opposites attract applied to extreme personality profiles. Specifically, they examined the interaction between the dark and light thirds of the personality. The Dark Tetrad is a group of four traits associated with manipulation, ruthlessness, and a desire for power.
The four dark traits are narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and everyday sadism. Narcissism involves a sense of superiority and a desire for admiration, while Machiavellianism refers to emotionally distant people who use strategic manipulation to take advantage of others. Psychopathy is characterized by impulsive behavior and a lack of empathy, while sadism involves deriving pleasure from harming others.
The Light Triad, on the other hand, consists of three positive traits focused on altruism and empathy. These include humanism, meaning respect for the dignity of others, and belief in the basic goodness of people, known as faith in humanity. The third characteristic is Kantianism, which involves a preference for honesty and treating people with their intrinsic value rather than as tools for personal gain.
“We wanted to look at the ‘extremes’ (but still within the potential) of human personality: the dark and light sides,” Kesenheimer explained. “Kaufman and colleagues (2019) proposed that people with bright personalities may be particularly vulnerable to exploitation by people with dark traits. Taking these assumptions together, we aimed to test whether this dynamic manifests in a real-life dating context.”
To examine these dynamics, researchers organized six speed dating sessions in May 2023. The sample included 128 participants, 66 men and 62 women. The average age of participants was approximately 24 years, and the majority reported being single.
Before the date began, participants filled out a questionnaire to measure their dark and bright personality traits. They rated the extent to which they agreed with statements assessing their levels of manipulation, empathy, and other relevant traits. After completing the survey, they participated in a series of three-minute dates.
Scientists analyzed a total of 1,429 straight speed dates, with each person going on an average of 11 dates. After each brief interaction, participants indicated their interest in dating. They answered questions about whether they wanted to see a particular person again, as well as their interest in short-term sexual encounters or long-term relationships.
The researchers assessed physical attractiveness as a control measure. Appearance was assessed by both the participants themselves and an independent observer. This allowed scientists to explain the known influence of physical beauty on initial romantic attraction, and allowed them to clearly see the influence of personality.
The findings revealed that Machiavellianism and sadism generally reduce a person’s dating success. Participants who scored higher on Machiavellianism were chosen less often as potential partners for short- and long-term relationships. Similarly, participants with sadistic tendencies were less likely to be chosen as a dating partner.
Narcissism and psychopathy did not show such negative relationships with dating outcomes. People with these traits did not experience high rates of rejection from the general group of dating partners. In fact, narcissists, psychopaths, and sadists tended to show an overall higher interest in pursuing short-term mating opportunities than the rest of their group.
Machiavellian people showed a high level of concern for short-term and long-term relationships. This pattern suggests that their manipulative goals may be achieved within different types of relationships. In contrast, people with positive personalities were less interested in short-term hookups, preferring to focus on reuniting with their date.
When researchers looked at how certain pairs interacted, they noticed distinct patterns regarding Machiavellianism and sadism. The dating success of people with these particular dark traits depended heavily on their partner’s bright personality traits. Machiavellian and sadistic individuals were strongly rejected when their dating partners scored low on mild traits.
However, once the dating partner scored high on the mild traits, this rejection essentially disappeared. People with positive personalities showed no strong attraction to these manipulative or cruel dates. They simply didn’t hate it as intensely as the other participants.
Scientists also discovered that this dynamic is not reciprocal. People with Machiavellian or sadistic traits did not particularly prefer daters with cheerful personalities. This lack of mutual benefit provides evidence that there is no special attraction between dark and light profiles and rules out the idea that these opposing profiles naturally seek each other out.
“Based on our findings, there doesn’t seem to be any special attraction between bright and dark personalities,” Kesenheimer told SciPost. “In fact, people with lighter personalities are more likely to trust people who are often rejected by others.”
“Given that people may pursue different goals in dating (some people may be finding love, while others, like those with sadistic or Machiavellian tendencies, may perhaps want to troll, manipulate, or control others), people need to maintain a healthy level of vigilance, even if someone seems attractive. But this can be especially difficult when falling in love.”
These findings have several limitations. First, the researchers noted that the effect size was relatively small, meaning that personality traits are just one piece of the complex puzzle of romantic attraction. Furthermore, because this study was based on a self-report questionnaire, participants may have underreported their dark tendencies to be more socially acceptable.
The scientists also noted that the exact psychological mechanisms remain unclear. It is unclear whether people with light personalities recognize manipulative traits and consciously choose to ignore them. It’s equally possible that their trusting nature simply prevents them from noticing the red flags in the first place.
Future studies may investigate these interactions over longer periods of time. Tracking couples could help determine whether these initial matches ultimately lead to emotional abuse or toxic relationship dynamics. Scientists also suggest looking at online dating platforms and examining these interactions between queer individuals to see if the patterns hold true in different contexts.
“It is important to be clear that bright personalities, loving and trusting individuals, do not actively choose dark personalities (and vice versa),” Kesenheimer added. “Instead, the key finding is that people with cheerful personalities are less likely to reject people who others tend to reject. This highlights that the general tendency to see the good in people, while often positive, can make us less selective in romantic situations.”
The study, “Shedding Light on Dark Romances: Reducing Rejection with a Bright Personality for Machiavellian and Sadistic Partners,” was authored by Jana Sophie Kesenheimer, Amadeus Angelmann, Lucia Maria Rachelle, and Tobias Gleitmeyer.
