A naturalistic study using speed-dating data found that people who believed they were viewed favorably by others reported stronger romantic feelings. In contrast, people who underestimated how favorably others viewed them reported lower romantic feelings. However, accuracy was more important than optimism when it came to attracting a partner. People who accurately guessed how others saw them received more romantic interest in return. The paper was published in. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
In the first moment of meeting someone, a person forms an impression not only of the other person, but also of how they themselves are perceived. These beliefs about how others see us are called metaperceptions and can affect our confidence, behavior, and romantic feelings. Metacognition may be accurate, but it can also be shaped by expectations, insecurities, and general assumptions about how people evaluate others.
Researchers distinguish between metaaccuracy, or correctly judging others’ impressions of us, and metabias, or systematically overestimating or underestimating how positively we are viewed. People tend to underestimate how favorably others view them, perhaps because they feel it’s safer to expect rejection than to risk disappointment. At the same time, people who believe they are viewed positively are more likely to express romantic interest. This is because people are generally attracted to people who think they like them.
Hassagani Tisela, a researcher at McGill University in Canada, and colleagues conducted a study evaluating two different methods for assessing meta-bias and meta-precision. They investigated how meta-bias and meta-accuracy in assessing how others view themselves as potential romantic partners (e.g., how others view their warmth, attractiveness, and status) are related to the romantic interest people express.
The data used in this analysis came from 12 different speed dating events held on university campuses in New Zealand’s largest cities and attended by 214 participants. On average, there were 16 participants per speed dating event. The average age of the participants was 20 years, and 112 of them were women.
In the speed-dating event, participants were asked to rate their impressions of each date on eight spouse attributes, including attractiveness, kindness, and ambition. Participants used the same scale to rate their own metaperceptions of the same traits, or how the other person saw them. Participants also indicated their romantic feelings toward each date on a three-item scale.
The study authors used two different approaches to calculate metaperceptual scores. The profile-by-profile approach assessed metacognition across all attributes simultaneously. The trait-by-trait approach assessed the accuracy and bias of each attribute category separately and divided them into three categories: attractiveness/vitality, warmth/trustworthiness, and status/resources.
Results from both approaches showed that participants who believed they were viewed more favorably by others expressed more romantic interest in themselves. In contrast, participants who underestimated how well they were perceived expressed lower romantic feelings.
But just because you think someone likes you doesn’t necessarily mean they’re actually interested. Instead, more *accurate* metacognition, meaning participants correctly guessed how their speed-dating partner uniquely viewed their characteristics, was associated with higher romantic interest from their partner.
“Overall, we found consistent evidence supporting that positive metacognitions can promote metaperceivers’ romantic interests, and that accurate metacognitions can promote their partners’ romantic interests,” the study authors concluded. “This unique comparison lays the foundation for understanding how metacognition and accuracy shape attraction in initial social interactions and paves the way for future comparisons of insights gained by different analytical approaches.”
This study contributes to the scientific understanding of the role that metaperception plays in interpersonal relationships. However, it should be noted that the data comes from speed dating events, where people who do not know each other have to quickly evaluate many partners. This is unlike most romantic interactions in the real world, which unfold gradually. Furthermore, the cross-sectional design of this study means that it cannot be proven that accurate metacognition “trigger” a partner’s interest. It is also possible that a partner who is already interested will give a clearer signal, making it easier for the person to guess accurately how he or she is perceived.
The paper, “A Comparison of Trait-Wise and Profile-Wise Approaches to Assessing the Link Between Metacognition and Romantic Interest During Speed Dating,” was authored by Hasagani Tissera, Nicola C. Overall, Emily J. Cross, Lauren J. Heumann, and John E. Lydon.
